


i've got the good side of things (left you with pumpkin)

by twirlpools



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: lapidot - Freeform, lapis gets the house, peridot gets child custody, peridot is Whipped, raising the barn gave me heartache
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-24 03:35:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18563095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twirlpools/pseuds/twirlpools
Summary: Maybe they didn't really know each other, maybe they will try better next time. Just maybe.





	i've got the good side of things (left you with pumpkin)

Peridot knows Lapis. Peridot knows how and when to make her happy, knows her nap time schedule, knows when to raise her hand in order to catch Lapis’ own in a high five without even looking, knows which episodes of camp pining hearts she should put on just by the look on Lapis’ face.  
  
Peridot also knows that there are some touchy subjects for her, knows that there are some names that should not be mentioned around Lapis, knows that it is best to label some words as taboo, knows that Lapis will not notice when she holds back her own opinions for the sake of them being okay together, knows that Lapis knows that she has her wrapped around her pretty fingers.  
  
Peridot should be Lapis’ personal Pearl, attending to all her needs.  Or maybe a personal Sapphire, she already knows what Lapis wants before she could even ask for it. Peridot could also serve as a Ruby or maybe an Amethyst, because she hears it. She hears Lapis cry in her sleep, tossing and turning and clutching so hard at the sides of her hammock, always threatening to teeter to one side and fall off but Peridot catches her. Always.  She knows what Lapis is dreaming about, wants nothing more than to protect the precious gem.   
  
Peridot is basically a personal fusion for Lapis.   
  
_Maybe you and I should fuse_ , Peridot would think from time to time but she would never really voice it out. She knows Lapis just got out of an unhealthy fusion with Jasper. She knows Lapis is not yet ready— _might never be ready—_ for another attempt of a fusion. She knows not to rush Lapis with something she’s uncomfortable with, anyway.   
  
Maybe that’s why Peridot shooed pumpkin away when she saw that Lapis was capable of bringing the entire barn to space. She was running out of excuses, so she can’t really be blamed for forcing pumpkin to be lost. Besides, she didn’t really want Steven to see her crying over a goodbye.   
  
“We have to find her!”  
  
Peridot forced a sigh of relief back into her throat when she sees the barn being set down.  
  
“I’ll check from above—“ Peridot doesn’t hear the rest of what Lapis had to say. She had to contain the small smile forcing its way onto her lips when she heard Lapis being concerned over their pumpkin.   
  
The next thing that registers into her mind is Lapis flying off to look for pumpkin. Only then does she guide Steven in the wrong directions.  
  
Peridot knows she can’t stall their departure that long. She “looks” around for pumpkin, sees so much of organic life, sees the trees and their leaves falling, feels the wind, holds more onto the things changing around her. If only she could change Lapis’s mind about leaving.  
  
“Sometimes, you have to do things you don’t want to do!” _like fleeing again._ Peridot continued to drag pumpkin out of the fields. _  
  
_In all fairness, Peridot did try to see the good in this. Maybe there’s nothing wrong with being alone with Lapis on a floating rock with a barn for as long as time exists. Although she doesn’t really believe that Lapis needed them.   
  
And maybe that did sting a little bit, and maybe she unintentionally pulled harder on pumpkin at the thought of Lapis being alone in space.  
  
Peridot knows. Peridot knows that that’s not the kind of consistency Lapis needs.   
  
She pulls anyway, Lapis expects her and pumpkin to do as they were told.  
  
Peridot knows that Lapis knows she’ll do anything for her. She also knows what’s next to come when she doesn’t abide to Lapis’ wishes.  
  
“…I don’t wanna go either.”   
  
The look Lapis gave her, mixed with confusion and disbelief and a slight hint of betrayal, makes Peridot want to hurl. She shakes, the barn drops, now there is an excuse for her legs to wobble.   
  
“Why are you telling me this now?!”  
  
_Because I thought there was still a chance for you to change your mind._  
  
Lapis’ voice goes from two octaves higher than her normal voice to a soft and fragile state. Peridot almost loses her ground, almost comes undone.   
  
“Peridot, that’s lying!” Lapis’ voice goes back to its former hostility.   
  
Peridot almost laughs. It’s so easy for the world around her to develop—to change, for Lapis’ tone of voice to go from this to that, so why can’t her decisions keep up with her?  
  
The truth spills out eventually and Peridot knows that despite all of what’s happened, Lapis appreciates her emotional honesty. What Peridot doesn’t know is Lapis’ capability to turn her back from her home. _From her.  
  
_Maybe Peridot was never fit to be a Pearl for Lapis, she couldn’t even give Lapis the one thing she needed right now. Not even fit for a Sapphire, never did she think of the possibility that Lapis would up and leave her without as much as a goodbye while bringing the barn with her. She couldn’t be a Ruby or an Amethyst because Lapis is gone, and Lapis is alone, and although Lapis could handle herself in a fight, Peridot still wanted to protect her.   
  
Peridot couldn’t even be a Peridot for Lapis. _You can’t fix what doesn’t want to be fixed.  
  
_She lays down Steven’s bath tub. It wasn’t anything like the barn. It was quiet, unlike the snoring sounds Lapis used to make. It felt empty, no meep morp in sight.  
  
Peridot knows there will be nothing to soothe this ache, not even Steven’s healing powers. She knows she’ll have to stick with a different copy of episode reruns of the third season of camp pining hearts because… Because it wouldn’t be fair to push through with season four without Lapis.  
  
Lapis.  
  
_Lapis._  
  
“What do we do now?”  
  
That night, she actually does let Steven see her cry over a goodbye of sorts.


End file.
